Tag Archive | dialogue

More Dialogue Wrestling

I would like to share with you the efforts of my wrestling match. I have been rewriting the dialogue from Chapter one. The first draft was written last century (ouch, that feels old) and the revised one just a day ago. The more I read through my first draft, the more I fear a lost of rewriting needs to be done. It is a growth thing, I know. But first another excerpt from Chapter One:

“Fareth.” Brandon hardly looked his way. “Walk with me.” He already started for the conference room at the end of the hallway and Fareth had to abandon his seat quickly to keep up.

“It is high time we get this campaign on the move again. Will you ride with us in the morning?”

Fareth stumbled as he tried to keep pace with his brother and hide his surprise at the same time.

“You surprise me, Brandon.”

Brandon stopped and turned towards him.

“Surprise, brother? Why surprised? You díd gave me you allegiance, remember?”

Fareth ignored the edge to his brother’s voice.

“I have and I mean to keep it, Brandon. I am merely surprised that you asked.”

He grimaced.

“You do not often ask.”

Brandon made a dismissive gesture and resumed his brisk pacing.

“There is too little time for asking, Fareth. If I have to wait for every answer to a question, we will be stuck here until winter snow or spring sunshine. This campaign is already taking me longer than I had intended. Anyway, your addition to tomorrow’s party may prove useful.”

Useful! Fareth scowled.

“I have been running after you since early spring, Brandon. We all have. And some even for longer than that. There’s no harm in slowing the operation down somewhat. Old King Gelan may topple over from old age if you wait long enough.”

“And leave his kingdom to bleed dry? Is that what you would prefer?”

Brandon had reached the conference room and turned angrily towards Fareth.

“This country has suffered too long already. More will die if we wait.”

Fareth recognised his brother’s temper rising and automatically reigned in his own chagrin.

“I’m sure you’ll know best. I will prepare to ride with you tomorrow.”

Brandon gave him a hard stare.

“At first light, Fareth, we ride for Fenrough at first light.”

Then Brandon dismissed him from his thoughts and turned towards the people that were waiting inside. As the door closed in his face, Fareth treated it to another scowl.

It is already a huge improvement over the original but you have to take my word for it.

This weekend will be filled with cakes, quiches and wine which might have an impact on my productivity. I will refuse to feel guilty. Have a good weekend and keep reading, writing and editing.

Emmy

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